I Want it to Be Over

Well not really but this is the psychology of anything like this that is drawn out, and especially in the relative "off-season" when almost no one else is seriously training. It's like I used to tell my athletes before the Olympic Trials - you're the first athletes out to training in the summer and you will be the last ones training next summer until the Trials. Welcome to the top where the better you are the more you train alone and in anonymity. I actually kind of like that part.

If this event were not coming up I would be grinding away and feeling that I was gaining an advantage over someone who doesn't train all year round. I don't have the talent or athletic ability to get away with that plus I enjoy the process. I would be picturing myself in Canada at Worlds or Boston for USA Track & Field Indoor Nationals two weeks after World Indoors. But since this huge target meet is nearly right on top of me/us, I feel that I want it to be over. That's human nature to a degree.

I guess it is tied to that "fight or flight" thing. I know that soon I will have to face and live up to very high expectations. You can't be afraid of failure or success so it must be a little fear of the unknown. It's like that big meeting that you really don't want to go to but you know it's a good opportunity, you do very well but you're glad it's over. I know that once I get on the flight I'll be fine and really be able to enjoy the event. But right now I'm juggling a million things to get ready to go and I feel like I'm ready for it happen TODAY. But that's half the battle. It is NOT today and I have no guarantee I will feel ready that day. The only guarantee I have is that if I don't micromanage how I feel, and the details of my training between now and then, that I will not have done all I can do to be ready. OK, stupid rambling but that's the mish mash of thoughts that go through my day. Then I block them out and focus on each and every component of my training. At this point I've played and replayed all options so maybe that's why I'm just flat ready to go. OK, enough of that.

The "fun" part is that on my final ramp up I get to do things in a bigger way. Of course I'll remain safe but I use bigger poles, grip higher, try higher bars (relative to the poles I'm on), lift heavier, etc. It's not such a "conditioning" grind anymore as that has been done long ago. I still mix in some of the speed and strength endurance stuff to stay in touch but now it's about bigger, stronger and faster. The bottom line and why I say "fun" is that this type of training doesn't hurt much. There's not a lot of suffering. I'll look back on this in a little over a month when I'm grinding out hills in front of the beach house in Maine and cranking away on the weights and LifeCycle in the YMCA at Boothbay Harbor.

There I go again - why am I already looking forward to Maine when training will be harder but the tension of a big meet will be passed. Again, human nature. I promise you that I WILL be ready and will go all out and leave everything on the field in Sydney. But until then I have to stay focused as the teapot continues to gain steam and pressure. I'll keep the horses in the barn until it?s time to constructively use this pent up tension and energy - three weeks from tomorrow.

Thanks again for being there. Today is the perfect reminder of why I wanted to do this. I NEED to get this out there no matter how illogical it may seem because working it out with you keeps me sane! Thanks team!! Bubba