Fear of Failure But Not of Success

As you will read later, the title says it all for the homestretch - with the addition of "DON'T get hurt".

I'm a little beat up from yesterday's vault day but not too bad. Well not as bad as the last time I jumped on bigger poles. I know it sounds dumb but my lifting and bars this morning actually help me to recover faster. I've got to get back to stretching right after I vault because I am too stiff today. Yesterday it just wasn't possible as I was dealing with the AC guy. Yep - it's in and working but the house got up to 89 before he switched it on at 4 PM, dropped to 78 by bedtime and 72 by the middle of the night. Back to normal finally.

I emailed Phillip in Sydney to get his take on conditions at 3 PM and he feels that is pretty favorable for us. He says the wind usually swings back around to the east by then and that is a tail wind. That would be nice. If they have us jump with the M60 group then I also have my longtime friend, Tom Rauscher, jumping with me so that we can help each other. We are the last group to vault for the whole meet.

The unknown question is whether we will get a "run through" before we start jumping. In USA Track & Field, if you have not entered the competition within an hour of the start, you can come down the runway and do a take off with no bar. This is called a "run through". I start at 12' and our competition will begin with the early vaulters attempting 8'. I will "pass" all heights until 12'. Each person gets three attempts at each height so by the time they get to 12' it may be two+ hours of sitting. OUCH!! Internationally they don't allow this but Phillip says he sees it happening for us old guys.

Why would this be important? If you have ever gone out and done any type of strenuous activity and then come in and sat down for awhile, chances are when you went to get up you were very stiff and sore. Well we feel like that or worse after sitting for a long time after our warm up, and now we have to make meaningful high level vaults. SO, if we get a run through I'll start on big poles and if we don't I'll start on small ones. I'm comfortable doing either but of course would prefer the run through. That one practice jump fires everything back up so you don't waste real vaults in the meet trying to get warmed up again. Strategically if two guys jump the same height and one makes it on his first attempt and the other makes it on his second attempt, the guy who made it first wins. A BIG reason a run through is helpful.

It's the Real Thing - Almost
I said that once it gets inside of four weeks that it would start feeling real. I leave three weeks from Wednesday and compete four weeks from Tuesday so after I jump with Kris next Friday it will be very real. Having gotten over 13' (3.97m) yesterday makes it easier to be patient. The American Record is only 6" higher and I'm still on small poles and short runs. The point is that there is no reason to push or rush anything. Going in where I am now is better than limping in because I was looking for some last minute edge. Clean up the technical issues on small poles and don't get hurt. I keep saying this to remind me that this is my only goal at this point.

At breakfast this morning I told Nancy that even though I had a very good high level day yesterday, that I have had at least 15 vivid thoughts of nh'ng or "no height", which means I didn't clear my opening height so I get a zero. I mentioned to you guys early on that this is a recurring theme for all vaulters - fear of failure. Warped is a group who follows a good day with many thoughts of failure. On the big day this will turn to sharp focus to avoid all of the scenarios I've envisioned. I simply make a "mechanical checklist", based on fears and tendencies, and make myself do one thing right per jump. When that happens twice I get to go to the next thing on the list. As dumb as that sounds, it takes a scattered and frightful mind and devotes that random energy on doing one thing right and THAT is a relief. Hard to worry about 10 things going wrong when your only focus is to do one thing right. It's very calming and liberating when you need it most. BTW - I will post my mechanical checklist here a day or two before the meet. Have a great day. Bubba

PS - Milestones
Since the start of this blog my total weight lifted went over 300,000 pounds (316,297) with today's workout. More important, since I returned to training on New Years Day of 2005, I have now gone over 13 million pounds lifted at 13,002,503. Two nice benchmarks in one session. If it's worth doing it's worth recording. I often go back to see what I was doing when things were going well or what I did to get out of ruts. All the best.