Embracing the Grind + Fear of Failure

Embracing the Grind + Fear of Failure

First, I?m happy to report that the healing groin muscle in my right leg did not hurt at all after practice yesterday or today so clearly I?m finally on the road to recovery. That?s a big stress reduced. Jumping is always the test and yesterday I had a 50/50 chance of flaring it. Since it didn?t I?m probably done with this ?ding? even though I will continue to ramp up slowly. BTW ? my little jog in 10? 6? jump from a 21? 6? run yesterday would have gotten 4th in the National Senior Games at Stanford that I just watched as a spectator. My normal opening height is 12? which would have been 2nd.

Embracing the Grind - As I settle back into to training I remember how hard it is to get my butt out there when I don?t feel fresh physically, which is most of the time. I picture myself on the field at big meets and know that every session I get through will be money in the bank on that day. I remember Bo Jackson telling a room full of senior citizens that his perceived level of exertion is no different from theirs and that he had to monitor his daily. Some days the training will feel easy but on most it will not. This is your body rebelling against change. When I feel like crap I drop the weights and make sure I am more deliberate and perfect in everything I do. So my day is labeled wither ?Quality? or ?Intensity?, depending on how I feel. But I do it at all costs. Those work days add up just like missed days do.

That said, today I lifted legs and arms/shoulders for 28 reps. No matter whether it takes two sets of four sets to get to 28 there is one thing for sure ? it?s going to hurt. I take 10 breaths between exercises and five breaths between sets so that things keep moving. I may do an 18,10, or a 12,8,8. Whenever my body fails I stop and take five breaths and take up the count where I left off. I?m currently doing this one day a week per lift day and 18 reps on the shorter rest rotation. I lift four days because whatever you?re trying to do in sports, it?s easier if you?re stronger.

Work/rest ratio is important not to get hurt so I make a lot of adjustments by instinct. Yes I could complete a scheduled component but if it feels wrong I?ll substitute something else or skip it if it might cause an injury. The objective now is to ramp up slowly and complete all of the work. So today was great but it sucked ? in a good way. I lifted 45,835 pounds in about 40 minutes and added 20 more high parallel bar reps. If it's worth doing it's worth recording. Sergey Bubka can tell you what he did on this day when he was 11 years old.

Fear of Failure ? EVERY single pole vaulter fears the ?nh? or ?no height?, which means you did not make your opening height in three attempts. My opening height is almost always high enough to get a medal in big meets but Worlds will be a bigger stage. Strange things happen at big meets in that someone always comes out of the woodwork with a big performance and someone pretty good falls apart. My first national championship in college I was ranked 10th going in and didn?t expect to be in the top five. To everyone?s surprise including me, I won. The next year I won again with only the 6th best mark. Because others had jumped higher I felt no pressure to repeat as I was just happy to have gotten one championship.

Flash forward to 1997 to Boston when I won my first Masters National Championship. That same year I was 3rd at World?s in South Africa. Sounds and felt so easy. Reality check ? this March was the first time I won another National Championship and Sydney will be the first Worlds since South Africa ? that?s a 12 year drought. Guys and gals I?m putting myself out there to you because I can only train my butt off, try to be smart and instinctive to progress yet not get hurt, and then roll the dice on the big day. I?m scared and I like it.

As of July 27, I had the 4th highest jump in the world, only 2? behind #s 2 and 3. That guarantees me absolutely nothing. My best friend and training partner, Don Curry is a 13? vaulter in the M50 group. He was hurt going into Stanford yet tried to jump because a low height would get a medal because of athletes who withdrew, didn?t jump well or didn?t show up. So a guy who jumps 12? every day could not make 9? 6? to get a medal in a huge meet because his body failed him on a day he has trained for all year. Even worse, he won this meet in 2007 and I was 2nd. That scares the hell out of me, just like me not being able to jump at Stanford. This simply cannot happen in Australia even if I have to come in undertrained yet healthy.

As much as I try I will be unable to keep the fear and negativity completely out of my mind, I will simply have to gain mental strength by challenging myself in training with many do or die situations. My past success in big meets comes mainly from ignoring everyone else and making a ?mechanical checklist? of things I?ll need to do well to succeed. I'm first on the runway for warmups so I don't feel rushed and have time to make last minute adjustments if needed. I focus on one technical component per jump and that takes my mind off of the other stuff. I sure hope it works at least one more time on October 13. Dumb as it sounds, I already have butterflies when I put myself on that field mentally. Game on ? the mind either makes you stronger or weaker and I will face that opponent every day between now and then in my training.

Thanks again for all of your kind words and support. It means the world to me, as well as this opportunity to vent. Bubba